Post by MasterEvil on Dec 27, 2010 10:07:17 GMT
Blog One
Uploaded: 10:00 AM 15th Wednesday December 2010
Hello everyone of you online nerds…my name is Alberto Del Rio, the Essence of Excellence…but you already know that. I am sure by now that all you people know that I am a proud Mexican with my uncle being the Mexican Icon Mil Máscaras and my father being Dos Caras. But what you all might not know is that I've just signed up with the Real Wrestling League and have instantly been inserted into the Christmas Chaos Battle Royale. And from what I understand a random amount of people can be in this match since this is like an invitational Royal Rumble. Well at lease I know a couple of people that will appear in the match...
Jeff Hardy...what do I think of him? This guy is by far the last peasant I would EVER consider hiring. He's rather doing front flips, painting pictures or taking drugs. That is not a wrestler! That is a joke, just like half the Caribbean. If anything Jeff Hardy is the Essence of Awfulness, the Pyramid of Failure and the Lair of lairs. The only way he would ever prove to me that this "Hardy" is truely a competitor is if be beats me at the Battle Royale.
Which will never happen since Jeff lacks the knowledge to do what's best for him. He would rather risk it all and lose everthing instead of planning and being careful enough to actually win something. I swear that way of thinking is the same as all those easily depressed peasants who would cut their wrist everytime they spell something wrong. Unlike Jeff I take pride in not taking drugs but maybe I need to help him learn that by breaking his arm or even ending his career. Whatever may happen I'll make sure Hardy learns why I am the best Mexco has to offer.
And Jeff Jarrett...the self proclaimed MMA expert. He is more of a joke to mixed material arts then Jeff Hardy is at wrestling! This guy can't even put on a decent submission hold to save his own life. And what kind of "Expert" uses a guitar? A mentally contispated one, that's who. I mean Jarrett is nearly as overrated in wrestling as Hulk Hogan is today. Why won't Jeff understand that, like the Hulkster, his prime was over ten years ago.
And yet he continue to hog all the glory instead of helping the new generation? That just proves that WCW was only raising selfish peasants, not peasants that can do their jobs right. Maybe I should make this "Double J" an example of how the future is better than the past. Maybe I should also show him what it feels like to be in the ring with a REAL MMA expert. Maybe Jarrett, you should watch your back in this match since I can deabilitate you are any moment like I did to Rey Mysterio and Christian in the past. But one last thing if you're reading this...for god's sake learn something abour fashion! It'll just be an embarrassment to be in the same ring as someone that doesn't know anything about fashion sense.
I understand that I am probably the biggest in this match as well as the rookie of the match. Maybe Hogan put me in the Battle Royale just to job to some HBK or Wade Barrett. Don't worry, fans of mine, I never job for anyone...if anything I'll enjoy eliminating both of them. But no matter what happens in the Christmas Chaos Battle Royale I can garantee one thing. The winner of that Battle Royale is called...Alberto Del Rio, the Essence of Excellence.
Until My Next Blog...Peace Internet Nerds.
Scene One: Class, Not Junk!
Time: 5:12 PM 16th Thursday December 2010
ADelRio: No, no, no...I asked for class, not junk!
Standing in between a car sales man and a lime green Lamborghini Gallardo is the well known Alberto Del Rio. Only yesterday he signed for Real Wrestling League and already he is in the Christmas Chaos Battle Royal. Today it looks like the nephew of Mexican icon Mil Máscaras is interested in getting himself a new car. But it also looks like the Mexican is nowhere near amused by the ride offered to him by this clerk.
ADelRio: You expect me, the Essence of Excellence, to enter an arena with the shiekmobile!?!
Salesman: But its for the RSPCC…
ADelRio: Did you mistake me with someone who cares about the health of little peasants? Please, all they will ever spire to is the servants at my mansion.
Salesman: But some of them are crippled…
ADelRio: Then give them all a Coup de Grace to end their worthless existence. All they ever want is to be me since unlike them I am not mentally weak. Now go away and find me a better car!
Salesman: But…
ADelRio: Now!
Without anymore words being spoken the salesman went off to another customer, realising that he is talking to an asshole, while Alberto turned around. He is now facing the RWL official flip recorder, that is currently recording him, and smiled in that overly smug way. Del Rio is currently wearing a light pale blue shirt and dark blue jeans with black formal boots while on his right wrist is an expensive looking watch. Only after a couple of seconds the Hispanic male changed into a serious expression and motioned the recorder to look at the car. When the cameraman did so Alberto began to speak.
ADelRio: What do you see in front of you? What I see is a monstrosity trying to be a saint, I see a peasant disguised as a man of honour. I see a liar posing as an honest man…I see D’Angelo Dinero. But where are my manners…
After saying that line the recorder lens looked straight at him as the Mexican smiled before saying.
ADelRio: My name is Alberto Del Rio, the Essence of Excellence…but already know that. What you might know is that Dinero claims to be…“pimping”. So is that the way you want to be…Pope? You want to entice these common folk with the little things that make their lives feel better but actually worse? There are many things that are different between us Pope. First, you boxed against children while I fought with MMA stars. Second, you act like you are better then people yet you’re not while everyone knows that even Mount Everest is nowhere near my level. And lastly, you’re nothing better than a waste of space while I am Mexican Royalty. I know that you’re only one of the nine obstacles I’ll get rid of in the Christmas Chaos Battle Royal but maybe I should do the virtuous thing and demonstrate the difference between you, the mentally constipated, and me, the only honest man.
Once he said that Alberto smiled his normally over-confident smile towards the recorder lens before remembering his conservation with the salesman.
ADelRio: What does cripples remind me of…oh yeah, Shawn Michaels…one half of the current Tag Team Champions…the guy who has done his spine like a pig eats his food. How does it feel Shawn? How does it feel to know that one wrong move could end your career? How does it feel to be a has-been who no longer has the moves? Guess what Shawn…you are no legend, nah ah. The only legends in wrestling is me, my father and my uncle. Hell, you are no longer this “Sexy Boy” that your song calls you…what you are however is a decrepit old man who will never ever hold the world title ever again. But what you can do is be the smart man, give me a phone call and become my own personal driver. That way you can not only get a good pay for your peasant wife and common filth children but also appear on the main stage like the old Heart Break Kid desired. And if that ain’t enough for you then just think about this…you have achieved so many things but why not outdo all of those successes by being the Bravest of the Brave’s trainer? That way you can have the credit of helping the Pyramid of Perfection become Champion since that will happen in more pay per views time. But if Shawn, you are simply too blind to see the true then I should just take your career behind the shed, point the gun to the back of your neck and pull the trigger. You never know…you could at last spend your Christmas with your family with no worries about wrestling anymore. Then with a smile on her face your Rebecca can thank me for ending your frail career.
Once his last sentence went out the male’s lips Del Rio smiled again. The cameraman clearly did not like the words Alberto used, like “decrepit old man” and “common filth children”, towards his idol. However the person holding the flip recorder knew that the isn’t allowed to leave until the promo is done. So he was praying that Alberto would finish the promo now yet instead Del Rio spoke even further.
ADelRio: If you haven’t known yet, I take pride in what I do. I take pride in my honesty and in my intelligence while I also take pride in my own appearance. Which actually reminds me of this “Amazing Red”. Amazing isn’t a personality nor an appearance, amazing is an opinion. The last time I been in the ring with someone that small is the Chihuahua known as Rey Mysterio…what happened when I debuted in WWE again? Now I remember, I made the Chihuahua tap out before taking him out the very next week. Yet, “Amazing Red”, you are even smaller then a Chihuahua so what could I do to you? I’ll let your mentally constipated mind relax by not answering that question. But I will ask another one…have you ever lied? I could just let you answer that Red but with the word “Amazing” in your name I believe that lying is like a trade for you. And if you are too blind to notice then I’ll reassure you…I hate liars with every DNA in my royal blood. The last two liars I’ve met were known as the Chihuahua Mysterio and Christian…I used that raw hatred to take them both out. Maybe the peasants like you because they can be at your level while they hate my guts out for being naturally superior to every single one of them. Even a giant couldn’t reach my level so Amazing Red…get that constipated mind of yours ready for El Orgullo de México.
It almost seemed like Alberto knows that the cameraman is fuming about the duration of this promo since Del Rio wouldn’t do his trademark wink to end the promo. Instead the Mexican male leaned his lower body against the car and looked comfortable.
ADelRio: The only thing more ridiculous than this “Amazing Red” is that the likes of Candice Michelle and Rosa Mendes are actually competing in this Battle Royale. One breaks at any given second and the other can’t even wrestle. I have never ever suffered an injury while I’ve been trained in the way of professional wrestling, Greco-wrestling and mixed material arts. The only thing that these fifth could do is basically whine and cry, acting all innocent like, whenever they break a nail…and who could forget the constantly pointless screaming? That always get under my skin…I mean how could you class an easily breakable playboy reject as a wrestler? And how can you class a fitness instructor wannabe as a wrestler either? Ever since the end of the nineties women wrestling is as good as dead…maybe I should you two this, Candice and Rosa, but remember that this isn’t personal. It is just the truth that women wrestling is pointless, lame and boring. Almost like this monstrosity behind me. Yet to sum this all up I’ll tell you a very simple fact…when the smoke and dust has settled my personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, declare the following in Spanish. Here is your dominant winner, Alberto Del Rio, the Essence of Excellence.
Once those final three words exited his mouth the Mexican male did his trademark wink which convinced the cameraman to stop recording the promo. Once he did so the cameraman switched it off and looked at the other cars in this shop. Meanwhile Del Rio walked out of the building before going to his parked up silver Mercedes. He then entered the car and switched the engine on before driving off, possibly to Denver Colorado.
[dohtml]<table cellspacing="0" width="501px"><tr><td colspan=2><img src="http://i37.tinypic.com/20z4ot4.png"></td></tr>
<tr width="501px" cellspacing="0" style="background-color: #ffffff;"><td> <img src="http://i36.tinypic.com/15pg6s4.gif" hspace="20"></td> <td><font face="arial" size="3" color="green"><b>Alberto Rodríguez</b></font> <font size="3" font color="XXXXXX">@adelrio</font> <size="3"><b>Tonight's the night where I prove, once and for all, that Alberto Del Rio has arrived in RWL. Step one, win the Battle Royale. Step two, win a Championship. No one can get in my way.</b></font><br></td></tr>
<tr cellspacing="0" width="501px" style="padding: 0px; width: 500px;"><td colspan=2><img src="http://i34.tinypic.com/2wbz2ih.png"></td></tr>
</table>
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Scene Two: My Thoughts On Battle Royale
Time: The Start Of The Real Wrestling League Christmas Chaos Battle Royale 19th Sunday December 2010 (Hogan, you can use this scene as the entrance of Alberto Del Rio)
The fans were ecstatic by the tag team match Ink Inc, CM Punk and Amazing Red just had and were extremely prepared for the main event of the evening, the Christmas Chaos Battle Royale. In the ring are two men, one of them is the basic ring announcer Tony Chimel yet the other male looks extremely formal, yet never happy. Before anymore seconds were wasted Tony began to speak in the microphone in his right hand.
Tony Chimel: It is now time for the Christmas Chaos Battle Royale! The rules are that every member of the Battle Royale have received their numbers and will enter in the order of the number they've drawn. This match starts with two combatants and every ninety seconds another combatant enters and will continue until every member has entered the match. The only way to eliminate someone is to throw them over the top rope with both feet hitting the floor. The winner is declared when they are the last person in the ring. Now let me introduce to you...Alberto Del Rio's personal ring announcer...Ricardo Rodríguez.
So Ricardo strolled to the enter of the ring, while Tony walked towards the corner, with his own microphone in his left hand while wearing a black tuxedo. The Mexican began to announce his the first entrant into the Battle Royal as his theme blast into the arena.
Ricardo Rodríguez: *using freetranslation.com* Las damas y caballeros, se levantan marcan esta noche como en pie la presentación de El Orgullo de México. Graniza de San Luis Potosí, México y pesa en en doscientos y sesenta tres libras. Este hombre dibujó número uno y la voluntad dominó este Real entero de Batalla. Este hombre es Alberto Deeeeel Riiiooooooo!!!
As “El Orgullo de México” escaped the announcer’s lips a black Bentley appeared next to the stage beeping away. After a couple of seconds the door by the driver’s seat opened and Alberto Del Rio exited the vehicle with a highly over confident smile on his face. He strolled to the side of the ramp, insulting the booing fans in Spanish while doing so, before getting up onto the ramp. After Rodríguez said his name Del Rio pointed his hands toward his own face and a bunch of pyro started to sparkle down from the top of the titiantron to the stage behind the Mexican. Alberto then went down the ramp way, full of pure confidence, and got to the steel steps and walked up them then half way across the apron before stopping. There the male simply glanced his eyes towards the many in attendance, with multiple chanting “you suck” at him, before entering the ring. Once Alberto was at the enter of the ring he had his two hands point toward his smiling face again while Ricardo applauded his employer. Afterwards Rodríguez handed Del Rio the microphone before exiting the ring and stood next to the time keeper. Alberto looked smug as he slowly raised the microphone just below his lips, while the people in the audience continue to act negative towards him.
ADelRio: My name is Alberto Del Rio, the Essence of Excellence…but you already know that.
Once he said that the Hispanic male smiled once more towards these anti-Del Rio fans. A couple of seconds later he spoke into the microphone again.
ADelRio: If you all aren’t as educated like me and Ricardo, in Spanish he said that I have drawn number one. I honestly don’t see why I should be afraid by this, I also don’t care about the history of this business…because I will make history by winning this Christmas Battle Royale from number one in my debut match. But here is the question now… who will be unlucky enough to start the Battle Royale against me, wrestling royalty. If the likes of Douglas Williams and Wade Barrett ends up being number two then you can guarantee that the Useless Kingdom will have no glory, like always. I mean, all Douglas will ever be is a Del Rio wannabe. He has no manners, no class, looks that only a blind mother would love, the worst fashion sense and of cause uses the worst style of wrestling ever created. But that also makes him even better than Barrett, I mean he left his own country without wrestling a match for any of their companies to be Raw’s imitation of Alberto Del Rio. He doesn’t even wrestle; all Wade does in a match is punch, kick and call for his lackeys. With representatives like them how can the Great Boredom expect any success?
What he said has caused all the British people in attendance to boo heavily and chant “Del Rio suck!” yet all that did was course Alberto to smile smugly again. The Mexican knew that he needs the audience to hate him to prove that he is a great heel and to speak up once more.
ADelRio: Multiple people can imitate me but there is only one Alberto Del Rio. That was clearly proven by some Totally Nerdy Affection when they noticed who I am in Mexico and tried to get this “Robert Roode” to be as much of an impact as me. But what they didn’t realised is that they turned Robert into a less charismatic, fatter, Canadian version of me. So they stuck Roode with some fifthly cowboy, who is fatter than him, just to look good. Hell, the chances of Robert Roode winning this match are the same as a Canadian deserving to be World Champion…impossible.
Alberto knew that this comment got the Canadians in the arena booing but gave them very little time to chant their opinions as the Bravest of the Brave spoke up again.
ADelRio: How many of you have heard of Hollywood? Well who cares about what you do and do not know? When the word Hollywood is said I think about three people…Goldust, John Morrison and The Miz. All three seem to be the gold diggers in this company. I have my own mansion with multiple employees and tons of riches, knowledge and pride. When I hear the name “The Miz” what I envision is a simple peasant…but after seeing what he can do with a microphone and in the ring my picture of you changed. Now I’ve realised that you failed when it went to reality television so instead of embarrassing yourself in Hollywood you decided to hide in a pair of wrestling boots. You are a semi talented squire looking for the knight to serve while so afraid of being forgotten you Miz made a tuneless “I’m The Miz and I’m Awesome” catchphrase. When I hear the name “Goldust” see not only a freak of nature but also a gold thief…if my car was painted gold you can bet he would be drooling all over my Bentley before trying to drive off in it. God seem to have forgotten abut the entire Rhodes family when he was trying to make sure the peasants wasn’t too ugly. Not only that but I swear you are a transvestite with a craving for any male walking nearby. Goldust, you are even lower than a peasant, you are a homosexual freak that could never ever defeat me in any type of match…just like everyone in this waste known as a city.
His last ten words might as caused a new record in negative responses while all the security by the barricade were considering escorting Alberto to his car later tonight. The rich man smiled once more, in complete pride, before saying what he thinks about John Morrison.
ADelRio: The last member of these three is John Morrison…
That name caused the audience to chant “Morrison” countless times which caused an unimpressed look to appear on the Mexican’s face.
ADelRio: You peasants should never interrupt royalty and I’ll teach you all why by decimating this Morrison right in front of your very eyes.
That comment caused the chants to turn into boos again yet Del Rio doesn’t even bother to notice the negative reaction from the audience.
ADelRio: I have battle John Morrison once before and what happened back then? I nearly took him out. And thanks to Hulk Hogan going down to his knees and begging me, I can now finish the job in this very Battle Royale. When you get yourself onto the stage you waste a good few seconds of our time in posing with your drugged up muscles and wire like hair. You have been romantically linked with a tramp called Melina for so long and now here you are multiple time champion and hall of famer…and I bet at the moment you are predicted as the favourite to win the match but here is some news for you Morrison. You are overrated and now you like so many others shall become nothing but a stepping stone for the Pyramid of Perfection in this Battle Royale. I will drive through your moonlight and destroy your starship before prevent your chuck the ability to fly. When I am done with you John, when I take you out, everyone shall realise that Alberto Del Rio has arrived in the Real Wrestling League and that you Morrison is overrated. If you like, after our match we could talk about the chance of you being my own personal butler or even my own food taster to check if any of the meals are poisonous seeing that every person in these cheap seats each are carrying a poisonous substance, almost like drug addicts each and everyone of you peasants are.
These words obliviously mean to insult the fans along with John and towards the audience this is clearly working as they are now flicking him off and trying to throw their own trash towards Alberto. This only caused to smile one last time before saying.
ADelRio: I am the first entrant and winner of this Christmas Chaos Battle Royale, Alberto Del Rio.
After saying that the Mexican male did his trademark wink before dropping the microphone over the top rope and outside the ring. He then leaned his back against the ropes, just waiting for the person who drew number two.